Kian Read online

  “I don’t know yet,” Roxie admitted.

  “Well, you’re here for now, and you have your beautiful niece with you, and you know the people of this town will embrace you both.”

  “Yeah, sometimes it’s a little overwhelming to have so many people watching every action you make,” Roxie said.

  “Tell me about it,” Eden said with a sigh that had Roxie wondering if there was a story there to be told.

  “Is there any special man in your life?” Roxie asked.

  “Ah, you didn’t pay attention when I said I was a single woman,” Eden pointed out as she held up an orange. “I would be eating chocolate if I were in a relationship,” she added with a laugh.

  “You’ve always looked amazing. I don’t think you need to abstain from anything,” Roxie said.

  “We’re getting old,” Eden said with seriousness, her eyes wide as if this were a fate worse than death.

  This did make Roxie laugh, a real laugh, something she’d needed to do for a while now and something she couldn’t remember doing in so long, the sound was odd to hear.

  “How sad for us that we think being in our midtwenties is old,” Roxie said when the laughter faded away.

  “When the average marriage age of our group is about twenty-two, I feel old,” Eden told her.

  “What about . . . ?” She trailed off. She probably shouldn’t say that name and was glad she stopped herself when sadness entered Eden’s eyes.

  “We haven’t been together in a while. He left,” she said, a sparkle in her eyes. “And it was for the best.”

  “Then we won’t speak of it,” Roxie assured her. She could see questions in Eden’s eyes, but she was grateful her friend hadn’t brought up Kian. Since the two of them had dated brothers, they were very aware of each other’s circumstances.

  “I think that’s enough talk about men or husbands or any of that,” Eden said. “It’s better to focus on the fact that you’re a mother now.”

  “I’m not a mom; I’m an aunt,” she said as she reached over and ran her fingers through Lily’s hair. The amount of love she felt for this child was unbelievable. Lily was oblivious to the conversation they were having as she played make-believe with her small horse figures.

  “You are a mom now,” Eden insisted. “Your niece can’t be more than three,” she pointed out.

  “Almost four,” Roxie said. Her heart was racing.

  “She’s going to think of you as her mom. You will be, in every sense of the word,” Eden said gently.

  “I . . . I don’t . . .” Roxie couldn’t even form a thought to that statement, let alone say actual words.

  “I’m not trying to stress you,” Eden quickly said. “Maybe I should keep my opinions to myself. A few people have told me that.”

  Those words pulled Roxie from her panic attack as she focused on Eden. “Your advice always had a way of grounding me,” she admitted. “But that’s just something that hasn’t crossed my mind. I don’t know why not. I guess I’ve never really thought of myself as being capable of being a mother.”

  “Because this is all happening so quickly,” Eden said. “But why don’t we push it out of your mind for now and take a stroll? It’s my lunch hour, and Sal isn’t here right now. He got stuck over at Ms. Martha’s house and probably won’t be here for another hour.”

  This made Roxie grin again. “Is it an official meeting?” she asked with a sly smile.

  “He thinks we all actually believe that,” Eden said with a chuckle.

  Martha and Sal had been secretly seeing each other for more than ten years under the pretense of client and attorney, but everyone knew the truth. Why the two of them wouldn’t admit they were in love was a mystery. Maybe the clandestine meetings added excitement. Roxie wasn’t even offended he was late to see her.

  “I would love to take a walk,” Roxie said.

  “Perfect.” Within a minute, Eden set the phones and had the place locked up. They stepped outside, and Roxie took in a breath of fresh air as Lily once again clung to her hand and looked around.

  “We have this great new park that an anonymous donor contributed to, but we all know it was the Forbes family. They just don’t like to be in the limelight for some reason. There’s a great new volunteer program in town, too, that is helping higher-risk kids do things in the community and giving them a chance to earn scholarships for college and put résumé-building skills on their applications. I’ll take you over to the park, where we will probably see some of the kids doing cleanup work and repairs,” Eden said with excitement.

  “Sounds like a lot of things have changed around here since I’ve been gone,” Roxie said.

  “I know. I remember we used to take part in community projects, but it was so difficult to get someone to head things, and now there are more than enough people willing to jump in and lead the kids. I give as much time as I can, and I love every minute of it,” Eden said.

  “Who heads the volunteer program?” Roxie asked.

  “Martha’s in charge of it, so she’s coming into the office all the time and asking for me to do something or other. I think I get caught in the middle in her excuse to visit with Sal,” she said with a wink.

  “Martha is perfect for the task since it was always impossible to say no to that woman,” Roxie said with a chuckle.

  “Tell me about it. I’ve even done trash cleanup,” Eden said. “But let me tell you, after doing that, if I see so much as someone throwing a gum wrapper on the ground, I won’t hesitate to yell at them until they pick it up.”

  “I’m glad to be warned,” Roxie said before turning to Lily. “Better be careful, little girl, or Eden will be putting you to work.”

  Lily clung a little tighter to Roxie’s hand as she glanced at Eden with a shy smile.

  “I wouldn’t make you do anything that wasn’t fun,” Eden promised with a wink at Lily. “And sometimes, treasures can be found when you’re going through garbage.”

  It was a warm day, and many people were milling about town, some sitting outside eating lunch, while others stood by buildings, visiting. It looked exactly the same, and yet subtle changes were showing throughout, such as planter boxes with bright flowers lining the streets, and new businesses that had customers walking in and out with bags. The town seemed to be thriving. It was a beautiful sight.

  “Mr. Cortnick opened up a bakery over there,” Eden pointed out. “It’s absolutely sinful, and I know I’m going to gain ten pounds because I do good all day eating healthy and then get off work and swing by there. As soon as the door opens, I’m slammed in the face by mouthwatering smells and then buy half the case. I drop most of it off at the volunteer center, but not before consuming at least one pastry. I don’t know what that man does, but I’ve never tasted such good food,” Eden grumbled.

  Roxie laughed. “We’ll definitely have to stop in there on the tour,” she said.

  “Do you like chocolate doughnuts?” Eden asked Lily, who looked up and smiled.

  “Yeah,” she said.

  “Then for your sake, we’ll have to go there,” Eden said with too much enthusiasm.

  “I remember our old bake sales―he would come in with the best treats. I’m glad to see he’s made a business of it now,” Roxie told her.

  “I’m not,” Eden said. “He’s making me fat.”

  “You know you haven’t changed one little bit,” Roxie said. She was amazed at how easy it was to slip back into her old routine with her friend. It was making her homecoming a lot better.

  “Have you noticed my hips? I’ve gone up a pants size,” Eden said.

  “I’m sure half the men in town have noticed your hips. They’re stunning,” Roxie said.

  Eden laughed. “You don’t understand.” She lowered her voice and looked around before she spoke more quietly. “I was feeding Scooter, and I bent down and heard a horrible ripping sound. I was afraid to reach back, but I felt the breeze, so I already knew what had happened. My favorite jeans split down the midd
le. My ass has gotten so huge that I ripped out my jeans.” Her final words were spoken as a horrified gasp.

  Roxie tried desperately to keep the laughter in, but between the horrified look on her friend’s face and the urgently whispered words, Roxie couldn’t keep it in. She bit her lip and still couldn’t stop herself. Laugher rolled out of her in waves, and soon she found herself bending over as she clasped her stomach as more and more laughter escaped. The longer the laughter continued, the more her stomach hurt. It took several moments for her to gain control over herself.

  When she was finally able to stand upright again, she looked at her friend, who was wearing a bemused expression as she tried to look offended. She wasn’t pulling it off very well.

  “I don’t know what to tell you, because you look great,” Roxie finally said.

  “You can be horrified with me,” Eden suggested.

  “Are you working out?” Roxie asked.

  “Every day!” Eden said, her voice rising.

  “Then maybe you are building that booty in beautiful waves. Don’t men like a good butt?” Roxie asked.

  “Or maybe I just need to avoid the bakery,” Eden pointed out. Then she looked at Lily. “But not today, ’cause I can’t disappoint Lily.”

  “Of course you can’t,” Roxie assured her. Her friend truly was beautiful, with what didn’t look to be an ounce of fat on her. She’d always been so thin in school, and now she looked like a woman with curves Roxie was almost envious about.

  “Now that you’re back, maybe you can come work out with me sometime. I’m almost obsessive about it. I had so much pent-up tension in my life after my breakup, and I discovered I’m a much happier person when I lift weights. If only I could stick to my diet, I’d probably be in the best shape of my life,” Eden assured her.

  “You are in the best shape of your life,” Roxie said. “And if weight lifting can relieve tension, then maybe I’ll have to take you up on that offer.”

  “Yeah. I always love to bring newbies with me,” Eden said.

  They made it to the park, where several people were enjoying the warm, sunny day. They continued chatting about different people in the community, and Roxie found herself smiling and laughing easily, as if she hadn’t ever left. She’d needed this time with her friend more than she’d realized. For too long she’d been suppressing her feelings, and being with Eden for less than an hour had begun cracking the careful wall she’d built around herself.

  Maybe she’d been protecting herself when she hadn’t really needed to. Why had she let her feelings for one man influence her in so many ways? She’d kicked women like that in the past for being weak, and yet she’d turned into that. Maybe she’d now have the power to stop such negativity.

  “There’s a group of the kids from the volunteer place,” Eden pointed out.

  Five kids, two boys and three girls, were over at the restroom area with paint and brushes. They were laughing as three of them painted, and two were carting materials in and out and performing cleanup. She instantly recognized two of the boys from the hospital and felt panic stir in her. Would Kian be there? She’d avoided him since she and Lily had returned to Pam’s house, but this was a small town, and she knew the more she got out of the house, the more likely she’d see him.

  “Who’s supervising them today?” Roxie asked, hoping her voice sounded casual. She didn’t want to admit to Eden she was afraid Kian would be there.

  “Not sure who’s with them today, but most of the volunteer coordinators don’t hover, wanting them to feel like they’re capable and appreciated, not needing their hand held,” Eden said.

  “I’m definitely going to have to get involved if I stay here,” Roxie said, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized that might make her run into Kian as well. This was all just too damn complicated.

  “A lot of these kids come from troubled homes, or they have emotional or mental issues they’re dealing with. But this center is really great about not putting any of them into a category. They want them to be just like their peers, and the more respect they are treated with, the more stable they feel,” Eden said.

  “Yeah, I know there’s a really thin line some of these teens walk. They can go one direction or the other. I’m so glad to see a program like this in place,” Roxie said. She was looking about her, but became more relaxed when she didn’t spot Kian anywhere.

  Eden filled her in on the different programs, and Roxie was impressed by how involved this group was. She was also impressed by the number of elite community members giving their time. The kids who got involved felt it was cool to do so since they were supervised by people they hero-worshiped.

  Looking down at her watch, Roxie noticed that almost an hour had passed, and as much as she didn’t want this visit to end, she knew she had to get on with her business. She didn’t have time to play all day, as she still had to look for a job and make sure she would even have time to volunteer. Her number-one priority right now was providing for Lily. It wasn’t all about herself anymore, which was an odd concept to delve into.

  The word mom flashed through her mind again. She wasn’t a mother, couldn’t even fathom being a mom, but as she glanced down at her niece, she knew that was all changing. She was this child’s sole caretaker for now, and Lily wasn’t even four years old yet. Roxie might want to push Kian away, but he would be her father whether Roxie was willing to think about that reality or not. And Roxie also decided she would keep the memory of Pamela alive in Lily’s mind and heart. She might be acting as Lily’s mom, but Roxie would be certain the child knew who she came from.

  What if she failed, though? She’d screwed up so many times in her life. Would this be the ultimate catastrophe for her? Would she fail this precious child in ways that would lead her to needing a place like the volunteer center to save her? A shudder rushed through Roxie’s body at the thought.

  Roxie had to push those types of thoughts from her mind, because if she dwelled on them for too long, she would sink deeper and deeper, and then she wouldn’t be doing herself or her niece any good. Her eyes stung as she blinked away the tears that wanted to come and spill over. She hated that she allowed herself to dwell on things she couldn’t control.

  “We should probably get back,” Roxie said, hating to break up their pleasant time together.

  “I know, but I don’t want to. I’ve missed you,” Eden said with a sad smile.

  “I’m sorry I left that way, I truly am,” Roxie told her again.

  “I don’t want you to apologize anymore. Just don’t leave now that you’re back,” Eden said. Her voice was serious. She didn’t even try to cover up her words with a joke or a forgiving smile.

  “I . . .” Roxie stopped speaking as she noticed the man walking up to them.

  There went her wish to not see Kian. Damn! Eden looked at Kian, then at Roxie, then back at Kian. It was obvious there was massive tension between the two of them, more than there should have been if they were just seeing each other for the first time in four years.

  “Hi, Kian,” Eden said, breaking the silence.

  “Eden,” he said with a nod, his gaze never leaving Roxie’s face. He addressed Roxie next. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

  What in the world was she supposed to say to that? Eden looked as if she were searching for the popcorn while getting comfy to enjoy the show. Roxie couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t feel the same if she were on the other side of this situation.

  “Yes, I have,” Roxie admitted. What would be the point in lying?

  His lips twitched the slightest bit, as if he were fighting back a smile. But then his gaze focused on Lily, and Roxie felt her stomach tense. There was such possession in his gaze that she wanted to grab Lily and run. She knew he had more rights to the child than she did, but for some reason she couldn’t begin to fathom, she knew to the very roots of her soul, she couldn’t let Lily go.

  “Can we go somewhere and talk privately?” he asked.

  “I�
��ll just take a stroll and check in on the kids,” Eden said, disappointment oozing from her voice.

  Roxie didn’t have to say anything as Eden disappeared. She felt betrayed because she didn’t want to be alone with Kian right now.

  “This isn’t the time,” she told him.

  “Too bad,” he said.

  The determination in his voice made the color drain from Roxie’s cheeks. Something had changed within him, and she knew the battle was very much on between them. Was she going to be strong enough to fight?

  Chapter Ten

  Kian wasn’t normally a patient man on any given day. With Roxie back in his life, his patience and attitude were being tested on a daily basis. The woman needed time to grieve and accept this new reality the two of them had been thrust into together, but he was done with her avoidance, and he was done missing out on his daughter’s life. Enough was enough. He’d driven by her small place several times, stopping often and pounding on her door. She was either very good at hiding, or she was making sure to be gone a lot. Being able to hide in the small community of Edmonds was pretty impressive.

  But now, seeing her so casually strolling in the park with his daughter was truly pissing him off. She could run all she wanted, but she could no longer expect not to be chased, not when she had the one thing in his life he wouldn’t give up.

  He’d been giving her time to accept what had happened, but because of his damn feelings for Roxie, he’d lost another month in the life of his daughter. He was finished being the nice guy. That obviously hadn’t gotten him anywhere in the past few years. However, he didn’t want to have a public fight, especially in front of his little girl.

  When he looked back at Lily, he noticed she seemed to be growing bored with just standing there. She was beginning to fidget in her aunt’s arms, and it appeared as if Roxie was having a difficult time maintaining her hold on the child. His fingers twitched with the need to grab his child.

  Though anger flooded him again, he refused to acknowledge it, pushing it deep down inside him. He wasn’t going to get anywhere with Roxie if he was yelling at her, and that certainly wasn’t going to make a good impression in front of his daughter as he tried to get to know her more, tried to work up the courage to tell her who he was and then find an explanation for why he hadn’t been in her life so far, without saying anything bad about her mother.