Kian Page 6

  “I’m going to be fine, but I really just need to be able to take care of Lily, and I can’t do that if I keep dwelling on the loss of my sister,” she assured the men circling her.

  “It really is okay to take a little bit of time for yourself to grieve and pull yourself together so you can be strong for Lily,” Kian assured her.

  Arden moved over to a liquor cabinet and poured a stiff drink, then brought it over to her. She automatically took it when he held it out, then stood there not knowing what to do.

  “Just drink it. You’ll feel much better,” he assured her.

  She looked at Owen, who nodded. “You will, I promise,” he quietly said.

  Roxie didn’t have the will to fight all of them, so she lifted the glass and actually enjoyed the sensation of the burn as the fine alcohol slid down her throat.

  They were all right. She did need to pull herself together so she could be there for Lily when she woke up. The next weeks, and then months and years, for that matter, weren’t going to be easy on either of them. They had to stick together, and that meant Roxie had to be strong. It felt good to let her strength recharge.

  “Lily and I really should rest,” she told the brothers as she glanced at Lily, who was shifting in Kian’s arms.

  “I agree,” Kian said intensely as he captured her gaze.

  Roxie suddenly forgot about Kian’s brothers being in the room. The bolt of electricity sparking through her made her stress disappear, and her hormones light up. Maybe it was her wanting to forget her sorrow, and maybe it was the fact that she’d been refusing to think about her feelings for this man. She didn’t know and didn’t care. She suddenly wanted his lips on hers in a way she’d never thought she’d want again.

  Lily stirred in his arms again, and that broke the spell between them. She looked away in relief, knowing there was certainly something wrong with her. Maybe more than she could ever possibly fix.

  It was both with sadness and relief that she was led away from the Forbes brothers and into a room where the two of them tucked Lily into bed. She stood next to Kian, and all of the trauma from the past few weeks began to truly sink in. Her body trembled as she looked at Lily, who let out a sigh as she turned over in bed, clutching her favorite stuffed pink horse.

  “She’s strong,” Kian said, pure awe in his voice.

  “Yes, she’s been through far too much already,” Roxie told him.

  “We can do this,” he assured her.

  Tears dripped down Roxie’s cheeks. He’d said “we” not “I”—not just him. She wanted it to be just her, or did she? She wasn’t sure of anything right now but the need to clear her head. She didn’t say anything more to him.

  After another couple of minutes, he led her from the room. The two of them shared one more intense look before she shut her own bedroom door and leaned against it, letting a few more tears fall before she stood strong.

  Tomorrow would be a new day. She’d be much stronger then, she assured herself.

  Chapter Six

  Dreams could be wonderful, or they could be terrifying. Because Roxie had always dreamed in color, which she was assured was a rare thing, hers were so much more real than the dreams of others. She also rarely tried to fight her dreams. She chose to go on the adventures her brain took her on.

  Stirring in her unfamiliar bed, Roxie wanted to fight the dream she was currently having. She didn’t want to face the reality her emotions were causing her to face when she needed a dose of fiction instead.

  Tonight’s dream was making her stir restlessly in bed. She tried pulling herself from the dream, but it was so real, so burdensome, she couldn’t get away from it. Her sister was at the end of a dark road, reaching out to her, calling Roxie’s name.

  No matter how fast Roxie ran toward her, she couldn’t catch her. Then, from a small opening in the wall, a huge man stepped out, a bloody knife in his hand. Roxie screamed at her sister to run as the man drew nearer, but Pam couldn’t hear her, couldn’t see the man coming up behind her.

  Suddenly he reached out from behind her, one hand gripping Pam’s throat as the other one—the hand with the sharp blade in it—lifted high before arcing down.

  With a scream, Roxie ripped herself from sleep as she sat straight up in the bed, her heart thundering, her body trembling. She was in a panic as she called out Pam’s name, her feet trapped within the blankets.

  “Pam! Run!” Roxie was between sleep and wakefulness, and the panic wasn’t fading.

  When a light shone beneath her doorway, it only amplified her confusion. The door burst open and was filled with the shadow of a huge man, and Roxie screamed again. Pain and fear rolled through her as she searched for her sister.

  “Run, Pam!” Roxie called again.

  The man stepped into the room, and Roxie tried to untangle her feet and get away. She had to run, had to get away, had to save her sister and her niece.

  “No!” she shouted as the man sat on the edge of her bed and reached for her.

  “Roxie, it’s okay, it’s just a dream. Roxie, it’s me,” the man said. The calming timbre of his voice wasn’t computing in her brain. When he reached for her, she clawed at him as she tried to scoot away.

  “You need to wake up, Roxie. Wake up!” he said more forcefully as his hands grasped on to her shoulders and shook her.

  “No!” Roxie cried again.

  “Roxie!” His sharp word along with the hard shake of her body finally pulled her awake.

  Roxie stopped moving as she focused on the hands holding on to her and the voice of Kian as he whispered soothing words. She began shaking as tears poured down her cheeks. She called out Pam’s name, horrific sadness invading her.

  Kian pulled her into his arms and continued comforting her, but Roxie felt as if she was beyond comfort. She should have been there for her sister, should have spent more time trying to get to know the woman she’d become. Now she would never have that chance.

  “Roxie, it’s okay, I’m here,” Kian told her, his hands rubbing gently up and down her back. “I’m right here.”

  Roxie clung to Kian as she focused on the feel of his hands, on the sound of his voice. Something within her shifted as she felt the fogginess of her dream begin to fade. It had been so long since she’d been held, so long since she’d felt anything other than pain.

  “Talk to me, darling,” Kian said.

  Roxie buried her head against his neck as she inhaled his tangy scent. Then, without much conscious thought, she kissed his throat, her tongue sweeping out and licking the pulse that suddenly began to beat faster.

  “What are you doing?” he asked as his hands stilled.

  “I need to forget for a while,” Roxie told him as she sucked on his skin.

  “Roxie, this isn’t a good time,” Kian warned. He didn’t release her, but his entire body was still.

  “I don’t care. Make me forget,” she said, feeling more tears in her throat. She was finished with crying, didn’t want to cry one more tear. She knew that was unrealistic, but for this moment at least, she could get lost in her old lover’s arms.

  “Roxie, I don’t have the willpower to resist,” Kian warned.

  “Good,” she said as she kissed her way across his jaw. “Please make the darkness go away.”

  With all the trauma pushed to the back of her mind, she allowed herself to get lost in his embrace. For this one pause in time, she was alive and feeling something she hadn’t allowed herself to feel in four years.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” Kian whispered as his tongue traced the edge of her ear before he moved down the curve of her throat. “But I can’t stop when you touch me like that.” The low growl of his voice had her back arching.

  “Don’t stop, Kian. It’s you, it’s always been you,” she moaned as his hand slid beneath her shirt and cupped her breast. He gave out a frustrated sigh, and then she felt the air touch her skin as he removed her shirt before his head descended and tasted her nipple. The ache consumed her, shooting
down her body and pulsing at her ready core.

  His strong grip squeezed her breasts as he tasted her, sucked her, and made her squirm beneath him as she reached for him, needing so much more than he was giving. He’d always lit her on fire, making her lose all sense of sanity within seconds. He was the sun, and she was drawn to him, even knowing she’d burn up before she got close enough.

  Kian pulled himself over her body, and the sweet weight of his perfect muscles was almost more than she could possibly take. She reached around him, loving the feel of his heated skin beneath her fingers. It was so familiar, so right. The barrier of her pants was still between them, and she wiggled beneath him in frustration.

  “Please,” she begged. “I can’t wait. Now!”

  “You’re mine,” he said in a deep, guttural growl that had her pushing her hips up so she could feel the solid length of him against her core. He moved back and she complained, but stopped the moment she felt his hands on her pants, the material finally disappearing.

  Her arms opened as she accepted him back into her embrace, finally feeling his naked length against her needy skin. She wrapped her legs around his back and tilted her chin, needing to feel his lips pressed to hers.

  “Can’t wait,” she moaned. His thickness was right there at her hot opening, and she could barely take the separation. It was too much, and yet it wasn’t nearly enough. Her body was on fire, and the longer he took to give her what she wanted, the more she felt as if she were going to be lost forever.

  Finally, with one last groan, he leaned down and captured her lips in a scorching, deep kiss that took the last of her breath away. The heat in her body increased to levels so high she didn’t understand how they weren’t both going up in flames.

  She felt alive again for the first time in four years, felt her body and soul immediately open to him. She was home; she was right where she’d needed to be all along. Why she’d fought it, she had no idea.

  In the back of her mind, she knew this was wrong, but she immediately pushed those thoughts aside. There was no room for negativity right now. This was only about desire and want. It wasn’t about what was good for her.

  Kian pulled back only long enough to allow them both to catch their breaths, and then his mouth was consuming hers again. His hand trailed down her body at the same time, and she easily opened to him as he slipped two fingers inside her. Oh yes, this was what she needed, wanted with a burning desperation. She was more than ready for him, and she thrust her hips upward to indicate just that.

  “Look at me, Roxie,” he growled. “I want to see your eyes when I bury myself inside you again for the first time in too long.” The utter command of his voice made her want to obey him.

  No. She shook her head and nearly cried as she thrust her hips up again, feeling the tip of him sliding into her opening. So close. He was so close. She pulled back and thrust up again, taking him an inch deeper. He growled at her as his tongue slid from her throat, up her chin, and around her lips. She sucked it inside her mouth and gently bit down on it, making his erection twitch against her.

  “I can’t resist,” he growled. And then the teasing ended. His hips surged forward, and finally he filled her, making her scream out her pleasure. Kian’s body covered hers, his thick, hot steel buried deep inside her, and she knew she wanted more. The fire of their passion might kill them both—and she didn’t care.

  The man she’d always loved and desired was exactly where she needed him to be, and instead of pulling away from him, her legs wrapped more tightly around his hips as she thought about how amazing he felt. It had been so long since she’d had a man inside her, she felt the smallest hint of discomfort, but that quickly fled as he flexed his hips and made a subtle movement inside her, stoking the flames of her desire even higher.

  “Please make love to me,” she said when he rested too long within her. She needed movement, needed completion.

  The light was minimal, but enough that Roxie could look into his beautiful face. She wanted to close her eyes, but he didn’t allow it. He gazed down at her as he began making long, deep strokes within her folds.

  She felt herself open to him, felt her body mold perfectly to his solidness. They’d always fit together as if they were made only for each other. Nothing had changed over the years, and that should have scared her, but for now, it made her grateful.

  Roxie let go of all reservations as he pushed in and out of her, their eyes never straying from each other. Tremors shot through her as her orgasm drew closer. She could feel the sweat beading on his back as his own body tensed with the sweet brushing of their bodies.

  Kian broke the connection of their gaze as he leaned down and took her mouth, tugging on her bottom lip and sucking as his thrusts sped up and he pushed hard into her. It was exactly what she wanted—the nightmare was long gone, and Kian was right where she needed him.

  She met him with each thrust, silently commanding him to go harder and faster. He gripped her hip and held her in place as he sped up even more, their groans mingling in the air as they sought release.

  Without warning, Roxie felt herself explode, her body shattering into what felt like a million pieces. She gripped him tightly as he continued to thrust, drawing out her pleasure for an endless moment in time.

  And then he shouted as she felt his hot pleasure shoot inside her, revving up her own pleasure as he found his, both of them shaking from the intensity of the moment. It might have been seconds, maybe hours, but finally the last shudders ran through them as they collapsed into the bed.

  Kian turned them, keeping their bodies connected as he continued holding her tightly while taking his weight off her pleasantly used body. She wasn’t quite ready to let him go, so she clung on as she felt darkness trying to pull her under.

  She wasn’t sure she’d survive another nightmare like the one she’d had, but as she drifted, her lips were turned up, because with Kian holding her, the nightmare would turn into fantasy.

  In a dream world there was no sorrow, she assured herself. And with that thought, she let go and fell asleep with Kian still pressed tightly to her.

  Chapter Seven

  Roxie was unable to move. Panic began invading her senses as she realized she was trapped. Her heart thundered, and she snapped awake with a less-than-pleasurable entry into reality. Her eyes opening, the fogginess of her dream world was instantly snatched away as she found her gaze captured by Kian, who looked entirely too smug.

  “Morning,” he told her with a low growl that had her stomach doing tiny flips.

  Uh-oh. She instantly recalled her nightmare, and her rescue. Though she’d needed Kian with a desperation she wasn’t even remotely able to explain to him or herself, she also knew instantly it had been a mistake to fall back into Kian’s arms. It was going to mess with her head too much when she needed a clear mind. What in the hell was wrong with her?

  “That was a mistake,” she said, her voice raspy. She chose to believe it was raspy from sleeping so soundly and not from crying out in pleasure.

  “Whenever I have a night like last night, I don’t ever think of it as a mistake,” Kian told her as he pressed closer, clearly pushing his morning arousal against her suddenly aching body.

  Though it took all the willpower she had left within her, Roxie pulled away from Kian, and even though there was disappointment in his gaze, he let her go. She assured herself that was what she not only needed, but wanted as well.

  “I’m a horrible person, Kian. I can’t believe I allowed myself to forget what was happening for even a few minutes, let alone hours,” she said as she climbed from the bed, wishing she wasn’t naked, but reminding herself he’d seen her unclothed body too many times to count. Still, the vulnerability of being naked wasn’t what she needed right now.

  “You have gone through a lot these past few weeks. Letting your mind and body go doesn’t make you a bad person,” he told her.

  The sight of him lying there, looking so handsome with stubble on his cheeks
and a spark in his eyes, almost made her want to turn back to him, made her want to climb on top of him. But she wasn’t that same girl she’d been when she was his. She was stronger now, and she’d made a mistake coming to his place.

  “I had a nightmare, and then you were there, and I needed to forget,” she admitted.

  He frowned for only a moment before his lips turned up in a grin that made her forget she was still standing in the middle of the room naked.

  “You needed me,” he told her as he licked his lips. “And, admit it or not, you haven’t forgotten anything about us because you responded perfectly to my touch.”

  “I’m not having this discussion with you,” she said as she turned away from him and began making her way toward his bathroom. Escape was all that was on her mind right now.

  She practically ran to his bathroom, then drooled at the size of his massive shower with four different nozzles. She wasn’t sure if they all did the same thing or not, so she simply began turning them.

  When hot steam began filling the gigantic space and water cascaded down, she decided she wasn’t going to ever leave this amazing shower. Though the scent of Kian’s shampoo and body wash made her think of him in ways she didn’t want to, she had no choice but to use it, knowing she was going to be thinking of him each time she inhaled today.

  Maybe she’d pull herself together enough to stop being so selfish and would forget all about their night together and the fact that his smell was now coating her. She doubted it, but she could dream, she assured herself.

  Taking a far shorter shower than she would have liked, she ignored the ache of her muscles and the soreness between her thighs. It had been a long time since she’d made love, more than four years, in fact, and, unfortunately, she was going to be reminded about it over the next few days whether she wanted to or not.

  Right now, her only focus should be on her niece. Maybe her sister and she hadn’t ever been close, but Roxie would have never wished her only relative to perish in the way she had. She was filled with regret that she hadn’t tried harder to bring them back together. It wasn’t her sister’s fault she’d turned into the woman she had. They’d both been raised by their father, who’d been an abusive drunk. Pamela had turned to drugs and men, while Roxie had decided to freeze anyone and everyone out of her life. They both had demons to bear; they’d just chosen to deal with them in entirely different ways.