Kian Page 5

Too much emotion and far too many thoughts were clouding up Kian’s thinking. He wanted answers right now, but he wasn’t sure he could remain calm enough to listen. This was a mess, and they would get to the bottom of it, but maybe he would give her a day or two to come to terms with the loss of her sister.

  “Maybe my sister didn’t know,” Roxie finally said. It took a moment for Kian to hear her words. He was so stuck in his own head, it was difficult to come back out.

  “She knew,” he said with a sigh. “She confessed to me. That’s how I know.” This sentence was uttered with respect. He wouldn’t continue to speak cruelly about her, not when she wasn’t around to defend herself.

  “Don’t you think she would have come and asked for help if she’d known?” Roxie pointed out.

  “No, because she would have known I could take my child,” he said. He forced himself to calm. “But in the end, she did the right thing. That’s what I want to remember and think about.”

  A shudder racked Roxie’s body as she leaned away from him as if trying to protect herself. That enraged him all over again. She in no way needed protection from him. He’d never done anything to harm Roxie—not ever.

  “Look, Kian, I know this is a lot to take in, and you’re probably upset right now,” Roxie said, her voice calm as he realized she was trying to placate him. He hated when people tried doing that. It only made his blood boil all that much more.

  “Yeah, that’s an understatement,” he told her. What he needed to do was find a punching bag and destroy it, or maybe find some asshole in a bar and start a fight. What he wanted to do was take out his aggression in any form possible. But, instead, he was forcing himself to stand there calmly and look at the woman who’d betrayed him while she clutched his daughter’s hand in hers.

  “Were you going to even tell me you were here if you hadn’t seen me?” he asked after several moments of silence. Maybe that shouldn’t have been the question he asked, but he wanted to know if she was planning on hiding from him while here.

  “I’m sorry about the way I left, but that was a long time ago, and I don’t think it does either of us any good to dwell on the past,” she said, not answering his question. If she thought he was that easily dissuaded, she hadn’t really known him at all. Maybe she hadn’t.

  “You clearly think you have all the answers and know exactly how I might have felt or how I’m feeling right now,” he said. This wasn’t a question; it was a harsh assessment that, in his honest opinion, hit the nail on the head.

  “I’m not saying that,” she defended. Then they were both silent for several moments as the two of them tried to find their footing in this traumatic situation.

  “I’m going to take a walk,” he finally told her.

  The relief on her face as he stood up was another shot to his ego, but he pushed it aside. This wasn’t the time to keep thinking of himself—not with his daughter lying there so helplessly.

  He left the room. This night was nowhere close to being over, and the best thing for both of them in this moment was to have a break. And he needed to call his parents. Though they’d be just as disappointed in missing out on the past three years of Lily’s life as he was, he had zero doubt they’d embrace her with all the love they had to offer.

  His family was so much more than the money in their accounts. Even if others didn’t realize that, he was sure in that knowledge. It was the first thought all night that put the slightest of smiles on his lips.

  Chapter Four

  The circles beneath Roxie’s eyes were growing deeper by the day, but she didn’t care in the least. What she cared about was that her niece was finally getting released from the hospital. Two weeks of sleeping on an uncomfortable couch so she could be by her niece’s side had been well worth the aches and pains in her body.

  Two weeks of seeing Kian every single day was playing havoc with her nerves, but even that she could deal with. They hadn’t discussed the two of them any further, and he hadn’t threatened her with taking Lily away, but his very presence was letting her know he wasn’t going anywhere.

  She didn’t want to even think about that at the moment. It was too much for her to process, and she wanted to feel a bit of joy that her niece would survive. But now it was time to tell Lily her mother wasn’t coming back to her. How was Roxie going to do that?

  Kian walked into the room and grinned as he sat down next to Roxie, far too close for her comfort. He easily reached out and clasped Lily’s hand, and she looked at him with a bit of hero worship that had Roxie wanting to grind her teeth.

  “How is my favorite little girl today?” Kian asked Lily.

  “I want to go home,” Lily told him with a bit of a stubborn tilt to her chin that clearly showed she was most certainly Kian’s child.

  “Guess what?” he said.

  The hope in Lily’s eyes had Roxie’s heart breaking all over again for this precious child.

  “What?” she said.

  “You get to go home today,” he told her.

  She smiled as she reached out for him. He didn’t hesitate as he gently pulled her into his arms and lightly squeezed. Roxie couldn’t have spoken in that moment, even if her life were in danger.

  “And I get to see my mommy?” she said as she looked around the room, her eyes connecting with Roxie’s. Kian looked over at her, his smile quickly falling. There was a question in his eyes, and Roxie knew she had no choice but to talk to Lily about this.

  “Sweetie,” Roxie began, and Lily looked at her with sadness. “Remember how I told you your mommy couldn’t be here right now?”

  Lily nodded as her eyes filled with tears. There was a huge lump in Roxie’s throat, making it impossible to continue speaking. Kian reached out with his free hand and rested it on Roxie’s leg as he looked at Lily.

  “Your mommy needed to go be with the angels,” Kian said gently as he squeezed Roxie’s leg. As much as she didn’t want to lean on this man, she couldn’t reject his comfort in this moment. She had no one else.

  “But why?” Lily asked as her first tears fell.

  “I don’t know why,” Kian told her. “Sometimes we don’t get to know the reasons, but we do get to know she’s watching out for you, and she misses you so much.”

  Lily was silent as she looked from Kian to Roxie, sadness in her expression. Roxie’s heart was completely broken as she tried to figure out what else to add.

  “No one can make you stop hurting, but we will be here for you always,” Roxie told her.

  Lily continued to cry as Roxie joined her. This moment was too much, and yet there was nothing that could be done to take the pain away from a child losing her parent, especially a child as young as Lily, who just couldn’t possibly understand why her mommy didn’t want to see her again.

  “I want you both to come home with me for a few days,” Kian said, and Roxie instantly tensed. This was something he should have discussed with her first, not just sprung on her, especially with Lily so vulnerable. His tone might have been calm and soothing, but that didn’t help her at all.

  “I . . . uh, don’t know about that. I was thinking we’d just go to my sister’s place,” Roxie told him, keeping her own tone calm.

  “It’s not ready yet,” he said, giving her a look. For a brief moment, Roxie had forgotten that’s where the crime had happened, had forgotten that it might be a crime scene.

  “I didn’t even think about that,” Roxie said slowly. “We can figure something out.” It was more than obvious that Kian didn’t like that idea at all.

  “I’m off work now. Come home with me and get a shower and a decent night of sleep, and then we can go from there,” he insisted. She didn’t want to argue in front of Lily, but she in no way wanted to go to his place.

  “I really think that’s a bad idea,” Roxie told him. Lily wasn’t saying a word during this exchange.

  “We need to talk about what happens next,” he said, his voice firmer.

  “I will be caring for Lily. There’s not a
lot to talk about,” Roxie said, deciding there was no further discussion on the matter.

  “Come home and speak with me tonight or . . .” He stopped. Maybe he was smart enough to realize ultimatums might not be the way to go at the moment. “The choice is yours,” he finished.

  “Is that a threat?” she whispered, not wanting Lily to feel the tension. Kian sighed before he shook his head.

  “No,” he finally said. “It’s not, but we do need to talk,” he told her.

  Roxie gazed at him with suspicion, but exhaustion was making her not want to fight, and she really didn’t know where else they were going to go for this night. Maybe after a solid night of sleep, she’d have a clearer frame of mind.

  “Please, Roxie, we need to talk,” he told her. It was more than obvious he wanted to monitor Lily as well. She’d been given the all clear, but that didn’t fully abate their worry over the child.

  “For tonight,” she told him and looked at Lily.

  “We get to leave now?” Lily asked.

  “Yes, baby girl, we get to leave,” Roxie told her.

  Her tears dried up as Kian stood and walked from the room to finish the paperwork that would allow Lily to go home with them. Roxie just wasn’t at all sure what was coming next. Was it a mistake to go to his place? Would she be able to take Lily away again once she stepped through those doors? She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

  Chapter Five

  Lily was fast asleep when the three of them pulled up to Kian’s place, and Roxie was grateful. What had she been thinking? Maybe it had been a few years and she’d somewhat forgotten the wealth of the Forbes family. That had to be the only explanation for the awe she felt looking at the mansion Kian called home.

  She didn’t live in this world in any way. She was used to eating ramen and living on four hours of sleep so she could pick up extra shifts. Sure, she was a nurse, but that meant she had a lot of school debt to pay off, and she’d been on her own for a long time.

  Maybe one of the reasons she’d left Kian had been resentment. Everything came so easily to him. It wasn’t his fault he’d been born with money and respect, and it wasn’t her fault she envied him a little for it. It was just how life worked out.

  “Shit,” Kian mumbled beneath his breath, startling Roxie.

  “What?” she asked, afraid to wonder what he could possibly have to worry about.

  “It looks like my brothers are here,” he told her with a sigh.

  “Why?” she asked. She in no way wanted to run into any of his family members, not with their past together, and certainly not with this newfound knowledge circling in her head. She never had been much of a liar.

  “I’ve kept my family informed about what’s happening, and they want to meet their niece,” he told her. “It won’t take long to get rid of them.”

  “Just take Lily and me somewhere else,” she pleaded.

  “Not gonna happen,” he said as he opened the garage door and pulled inside.

  Roxie looked around and felt herself growing sicker by the second. She counted twelve car bays—and all of them were filled. She didn’t want to think about the price tag on each vehicle. Kian certainly didn’t mind spending money. That was for dang sure.

  Kian was out of the car and around to her door before she could undo her seat belt. He stood there waiting, as if he had all the time in the world. Roxie wished she could find the same confidence that had gotten her through college right about now. When she’d gone away for her education, she had left the pathetic Roxie behind. Somehow the second she’d crossed the city-limits sign, all her insecurities had come roaring back. She hated herself a little for feeling that way.

  Doing her best to shake herself from her poor-me attitude, she climbed from the passenger seat and stood up, making sure to move a couple of feet away from Kian. Standing too close to him was like looking directly at the sun, and she feared her skin and eyes would be seared before too long.

  After she was safely out of the vehicle, he moved to the back door and carefully undid Lily from her brand-new booster seat, then lifted her into his arms. She cuddled against him, and a look of awe settled over his features. He was already far too attached to Lily, and that was more terrifying than anything else to Roxie. She felt as if she was losing her a little more as each day passed.

  “Come on,” Kian said as he moved forward. Roxie didn’t look at him again to try to decide how he was feeling. She felt as much a victim as he did. He’d slept with her sister and created a child. Both of them had kept that from her. She could forgive her sister since she’d made a mistake, but could she ever forgive Kian? She didn’t think so. It was either that, or she just didn’t want to face how he made her feel.

  “Welcome home,” a voice called as they stepped into a large kitchen.

  Though Roxie had been nervous to see Kian’s brothers, the moment she looked up and saw the pleasure on their faces, she couldn’t help but give an answering grin. She’d always loved Kian’s family, even if she had wanted to avoid them after what she’d done.

  “Roxie, it’s so good to see you. We wanted to come to the hospital, but Kian asked us to wait,” Owen said as he took a few strides in her direction.

  Before she had even a moment to say a word, he pulled her into his arms, her feet leaving the ground as he cut the air right out of her lungs in a bear hug that had her squeaking as she tried to breathe.

  “Sorry,” he said as he released her.

  “I guess you forgot your own strength,” she said, almost feeling as if she’d just run a marathon.

  “Yeah, and I missed you,” he said with a sheepish smile that had her heart leaping. He might be a beast of a man with shoulders almost too wide to fit through standard doorways, but he’d always been a giant teddy bear. She might even admit, if only in her head, that he was her favorite sibling of Kian’s. Those shoulders were perfect, too, since he was a fireman who absolutely loved his job.

  “I missed you, too,” she admitted, her cheeks reddening just a little.

  “What about me?” Arden asked with his own tamped-down grin as he approached next and hugged her with less force, but still hard enough to constrict her lungs.

  “Yes, of course, Arden. It’s great to see you,” she assured him. Seeing these wonderful men was helping her push back the unbearable grief she’d been feeling for weeks. He smiled at her before flicking her hair away from her face. She shifted on her feet as she looked over at Declan.

  Declan rarely wore any emotion on his face, and he’d been the hardest of Kian’s siblings to get to know, and, if truth be told, he intimidated her a little. He’d never been anything other than kind to her, but there was an edge to him that kept her feeling as if she should confess every secret she had while holding out her hands so he could arrest her.

  He stepped forward and gave her a light hug, quickly pulling back, and Roxie didn’t quite know what to say.

  “Um . . . good to see you, Declan,” she said awkwardly.

  “I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances,” Arden told her. And just like that, the pain was at the front of her mind. She flinched.

  “We decided not to speak about that,” Declan said with a growl.

  “I’d rather not,” Roxie admitted.

  “Then we won’t.” They all turned and looked at Kian, who held Lily tightly against him. He hadn’t said anything so far at this family reunion, but he finally sighed.

  “How did you keep Mom and Dad from coming here?” Kian asked.

  “We didn’t want to overwhelm Roxie and Lily right when they’re getting home from the hospital,” Owen said.

  “And you three being here isn’t overwhelming?” Kian said with a raised brow.

  “Okay, we didn’t tell them you were coming home right now,” Arden admitted.

  “That’s what I thought,” Kian said. Roxie had a feeling he was going to catch hell for that one.

  “Why don’t you tell us what you’ve been doing since you’ve been gone?”
Owen said as he tried to switch the subject. Roxie was grateful.

  “She’s been living in Portland,” Declan said quietly.

  Her gaze locked with his as his brothers turned and looked at him, all of them looking confused. Roxie didn’t know what to think of Declan knowing exactly where she’d been. Intimidated would be a good first word, she thought.

  “How in the hell do you know that?” Kian asked, glaring at his brother.

  “I like to know things,” Declan said with a shrug. Yep, he still intimidated her, she decided.

  “Maybe you should mind your own business,” Kian grumbled. Roxie had a feeling the brothers would be talking more later when she wasn’t in hearing range. She kind of wished she could be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

  “Never going to happen,” Declan assured his sibling.

  “We can gossip later. It looks like Lily needs a warm bed,” Owen said, always the first of the brothers to break up tension. It was odd how nothing at all had changed in the four years since Roxie had left.

  “I really could use some rest as well,” Roxie said, hoping they’d allow her to escape.

  Instant remorse flashed across all the brothers’ faces, even Declan’s, which surprised her.

  “I’m really sorry,” Owen said. The brothers instinctively moved a few inches closer to her, as if forming a protective circle.

  Roxie’s throat suddenly closed up, and she found herself incapable of speaking. This had to have been the worst couple of weeks of her life, and before this had happened, she would have thought leaving Kian had been the hardest. It wasn’t going to get any easier, no matter how much time passed.

  Kian moved closer to her side, and instead of feeling uncomfortable, she suddenly wanted to lean against him. He always had managed to carry her burdens for her. But wasn’t that one of the things that had made her lose her identity in the first place? It was odd how easy it was to want that again.

  The sympathy flashing across his face was too much for her, though. She didn’t want to keep seeing that expression in everyone’s eyes. She didn’t want them feeling sorry for her. That wasn’t going to help her process her grief.