Turbulent Desires (Billionaire Aviators Book 2) Read online

  Everything slowed down as she watched disbelief enter the man’s eyes for the briefest of moments, and then his arm dropped and he fell on top of her, pinning her to the bed beneath his lifeless body.

  The next few minutes were a blur as his weight was lifted and a torrent of activity overtook the room. Lindsey knew if she did make it through the night, her life would never be the same again. She came in and out of consciousness as she was lifted, her clothes removed, a needle painfully stuck in her arm—and then the lights went out.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Sitting in the corner of the pew, Lindsey kept her large bag beside her so no one would sit too close. Even with that layer of protection, her body was pressed uncomfortably hard into the wall as she stared straight ahead, not wanting to make eye contact—not wanting anyone to speak to her.

  She hadn’t told anyone she was coming to the funeral of Doctor Ted Stamos, but she couldn’t miss it even though her injuries weren’t remotely close to being healed.

  It had been only a week since the stabbing, since the moment she’d nearly lost her life. The doctor had told Lindsey she was lucky she’d been assaulted in a hospital; otherwise, there wouldn’t have been time to stop the bleeding.

  Rubbing her fingers beneath her silk shirt, she felt the bandages on her lower abdomen and grimaced. Lucky wouldn’t exactly be the word she would use.

  Lucky wouldn’t be a word she would ever use again. Luck had nothing to do with her coming out of that horrible event while two colleagues, two friends, had died. It had been the timing of the police force. But if she’d made a call when she’d initially had the bad feeling, then today she might be sitting around the cafeteria table sharing a laugh with the charismatic doctor instead of sitting in a church, crushed against a wall, while she fought back tears as people said their final good-byes.

  Clenching her fingers into a tight fist, Lindsey took shallow breaths as she tried to tell herself she was safe. Her side ached where she’d been stitched back together, and her head throbbed because she’d refused to take her pain meds on this particular day.

  Lindsey wanted to feel the pain of survival. She wanted the reminder that she’d lived while two other good people had died. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. But even so, she didn’t want to be dead either. She was just dealing with some major survivor’s guilt.

  The temperature in the room seemed to suddenly heat up, and there was a shift in the air that Lindsey couldn’t possibly explain. But without turning her head, she knew who was next to her, knew who would dare sit so close when everything about her screamed that she wanted to be left alone.

  She said nothing, her body ramrod straight, her shoulder aching as she pushed it even harder against the wall as she tried to move farther away. She was barely able to hold herself together, and this wouldn’t help her at all.

  Her shallow breaths became tiny little pants as her vision blurred, little black dots sparking in front of her. If she didn’t pull it together fast, she was going to pass out. That was the last thing she wanted. Who knew what would happen?

  “You need to breathe, Lindsey.”

  His low voice was meant to be soothing, but his words only made her panic escalate. She bit her lip, and instead of taking a much-needed deep breath, she stopped breathing altogether, and those flashing black dots became larger as her head began spinning.

  “Seriously, you have to breathe,” Maverick told her.

  She felt his fingers settle against her leg and a small squeak escaped her tight throat as she felt darkness trying to pull her under. Before she sank into the abyss, though, Maverick’s strong fingers were gripping her shoulders, turning her toward him, and shaking her.

  The motion caused her to take in a deep breath and her gaze unintentionally locked on his worried eyes. The spots that had been dancing in front of her cleared, and she couldn’t turn away.

  He said nothing else as he waited for her to process what was going on. The worry she saw in him helped clear up her muddled brain. Still, it took a few more moments before she was able to open her lips.

  “Don’t touch me,” she said, her words a harsh whisper.

  “You need to be touched, Lindsey. You’re falling apart,” he told her.

  The words weren’t said cruelly, more matter-of-factly, but that didn’t stop the wince she felt through her entire body.

  “You know nothing about me, Maverick. Just because the two of us had one night together at my best friend’s wedding doesn’t give you the right to try and analyze me.”

  She needed to get away from this man and get away fast. She was falling apart. Coming to the funeral had been a mistake.

  “This has nothing to do with our night together,” he said, his eyes narrowing the tiniest bit. He obviously hadn’t liked that comment.

  “I just want to be left alone,” she told him. She needed to go, but she was trapped between the wall and Maverick.

  Twisting her head, she looked behind her. No one was there. She was in the last row of seats. She could vault over it and run through the doors, probably without anyone even noticing.

  “That’s what you keep telling everyone, Lins, but I think remaining alone is the worst thing you can possibly do,” he said, his fingers moving against her shoulders in what she assumed he thought was a comforting gesture. It was anything but.

  “I needed to say good-bye to Ted. But I’ve done that. I want to go now. Please let me leave,” she said, hating her pleading tone.

  Surprisingly, Maverick let her go, but he didn’t scoot away.

  “He was a friend of mine too. But I came here to find you since you’ve refused to see me. I want to help you, Lins.”

  The sincerity in his voice couldn’t possibly be faked. She wouldn’t claim to know this man, not after only a single night—a very passionate night, but still, only a single night with him.

  It was just too complicated. Even before the attack, it had been too complicated. Now it was impossible. Lindsey was broken. She knew she would never be the same again. And being around Maverick, who had more energy and life flowing through him than anyone else she’d ever met, hurt her so much more than the stab wounds that had been inflicted upon her body.

  “There is no helping me,” she told him, quiet resignation in her tone.

  He winced as if her words were causing him physical pain.

  Lindsey couldn’t sit there and keep talking to him. She decided to make a break for it. Grabbing her purse, she stood up, her head going a little light again at the speed with which she did it. But before she could launch herself over the back of the pew, Maverick was standing next to her, his hand once again gripping her arm.

  “I’ll walk you out.”

  He didn’t let go. He led her from the church just as the organ music began to let the patrons know the funeral was about to start. Maverick said nothing as they exited the giant doorway and then moved to the parking lot.

  “Let me go,” she said to him again. He just ignored her as he moved toward his truck and opened the passenger door.

  “I need to make sure you get home safely,” he said as he held out a hand, indicating he wanted her to get in.

  “I’m not your responsibility,” she said, her anger rising.

  She was thrilled at the anger. It was so much better than the constant emotional pain she’d been feeling since the attack. But as soon as it engulfed her, it fizzled back out, leaving her feeling even more empty than she’d felt before.

  He didn’t say anything more to her, just waited. And Lindsey was suddenly too tired to keep fighting this man. She climbed into his truck and sat down, her body pressed against the side of the door as soon as he shut it.

  Maverick tried talking to her more on the drive back to her place, but she didn’t respond. The day had been too exhausting and she had nothing left in her.

  When they reached her apartment, she didn’t even question the fact that he knew where she lived. It had been nearly a year since Stormy’s wedding to Mave
rick’s brother Cooper.

  Lindsey had fallen hard for Maverick and had spent an amazingly passionate night making love to the man. He could really make love like nobody’s business. It had been the greatest night of her life. But she’d known in the morning that it couldn’t continue.

  Stormy was like a sister to her and Lindsey would see Maverick at too many social gatherings for them to have a casual affair or, even worse, get in a relationship that could end very badly.

  So even though the man had pursued her, she’d resisted. Now, she didn’t want anyone in her life—ever again.

  “Lindsey—”

  “Please just respect me enough to leave me alone,” Lindsey told him as they reached her front door.

  A flash of different emotions ran through Maverick’s eyes, but Lindsey was relieved when resignation settled on his face.

  “I’ll give you some time. But I know you need me. I’ll be back.”

  He stood there as she entered her empty apartment and shut the door. She leaned against the door as his footsteps retreated. Lindsey sank to the floor as the day settled in on her, and she wept into her hands.

  Time would do nothing for her. Lindsey didn’t think there was anything that would ever sew up the wounds in her soul—not even Maverick Armstrong.

  CHAPTER TWO

  One year later

  Lindsey knew she needed to move. She couldn’t allow fear to define her. But even knowing this, she sat in the bright window seat as the sun continued to rise higher in the sky, its piercing summer rays mocking her dark mood.

  Soon she would find joy in life again. She’d had plenty of time to recover, but the thought of just going on as if nothing had ever happened didn’t appeal at all. She wasn’t yet ready to face the real world. Heck, she could barely face the guesthouse and the hospital she dreaded going to. Even after a year had passed, each night before bed she roamed the small cottage triple checking that all the locks were securely in place before she attempted to fall asleep. The lights were never turned off.

  She wanted—needed—to feel normal again, but she wasn’t quite sure how she was supposed to accomplish that. Trusting people and venturing back out was something she knew she needed to do, but she couldn’t quite manage to talk herself into living life normally again.

  There was a knock on her door before she heard the key in the lock and then watched as the knob turned. Even though she knew it was Stormy, since she was the only other person to have a key to the cottage, her heart still thundered as she watched her barrier against the world begin to push open.

  “I have donuts, coffee, and homemade granola bars just to add a healthy kick to the meal,” Stormy said as she walked into the room carrying a tray.

  Her heart still thundering, Lindsey gave her best friend a smile, or at least the shadow of a smile, which she hoped was at least somewhat convincing. She slowly began to calm down.

  “Thanks, Stormy. You know you don’t need to keep waiting on me hand and foot,” Lindsey told her as she accepted the cup of coffee and curled her legs up under her on the window seat.

  “Showing up with snacks isn’t waiting on you. It’s being a good friend,” Stormy assured her as she settled on the next cushion.

  “Well, you do bring good snacks, but I feel bad when I take you away from the baby so much,” Lindsey said with a sigh.

  “I love having you here, and you never take away time from my family because you are a part of it,” Stormy told her. “And I’m trying to give you space. You know I would much rather you stayed in the main house, but at least you’re close enough that I can sleep at night,” Stormy continued as she reached out to pat her hand.

  Without meaning to, Lindsey flinched back, instantly feeling terrible when her best friend’s eyes shone with hurt, yet understanding.

  “I’m sorry,” Lindsey mumbled.

  “Don’t apologize. I get it,” Stormy said.

  But the reality was that no one could understand what she was going through. Not even another victim of assault. Each woman’s experience was unique. Lindsey considered herself a strong person, but since the attack, she couldn’t stand to be touched.

  Lindsey didn’t say anything else to assure Stormy she was okay, because what else could she say? Nothing.

  “Are you feeling okay today? You seem a bit paler than normal,” Stormy said, but this time she didn’t reach for her, thankfully.

  “I’m fine. I promise,” she said, a bit too loudly and with false enthusiasm. She winced at the patient look on her best friend’s face.

  “We should make your doctor’s appointment. Last week you said your side was hurting,” Stormy said, and Lindsey could see her friend’s fingers twitching as if she wanted to reach out again.

  “I don’t want anyone looking at it anymore. Even the doctor looking at the ugly scars . . . I hate it,” she said more quietly as she set down her mug on the tray and got up, pacing the room.

  “I just need to do something—anything,” Stormy said.

  “No. Please just drop it, Stormy,” Lindsey begged.

  “Lins, it’s just me. I’ve seen the scar, and it doesn’t take away even an ounce of your beauty. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known. Those marks just prove what a survivor you are,” Stormy said, but she stayed where she was and allowed Lindsey time to try to get her breath.

  “Stormy, it hurts for me to even look in a mirror,” she admitted.

  It wasn’t easy for her to say. Really, the scaring wasn’t that bad. She was a nurse; she’d seen far worse. The biggest one was about four inches long and less than a quarter inch wide. Then there were a few smaller scrapes near it, but the doctor had done a great job. The problem was that she knew they were there, and they were a reminder of what had happened. Every time she was reminded, she found panic once again choking her.

  “Lins, I’m not just saying kind words to hear myself talk. You honestly are beautiful inside and out. And strong—so very strong. If the roles were reversed, I guarantee you, I wouldn’t have made it out of that room alive.”

  Lindsey looked at her best friend and saw the truth shining from her eyes, but it didn’t matter. No matter how many times she was assured the world was still spinning, it didn’t help her feel okay. She was beginning to feel that nothing would ever be okay again.

  “I know how much you love me, and I promise I will get back to myself,” Lindsey began. “But I just need a little more time,” she finished.

  “I understand that. I want you to take as much time as you need. You’re so important to me.”

  “Just as you are important to me,” Lindsey told her.

  “How about we get out of here for a while. We could go to the spa,” Stormy suggested.

  The thought of breaking up her carefully laid-out routine sent a spiral of panic right through her. Dammit! She hated weakness.

  “Maybe tomorrow, Stormy. I’m going to do schoolwork today, okay?” she said, hoping her friend wouldn’t argue with her.

  Stormy looked as if she wanted to, but finally she let out a sigh.

  “Okay, Lins. But I’m going to keep bugging you,” Stormy assured her.

  “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Lindsey told her.

  Though Stormy truly was her best friend, Lindsey found herself counting down the moments until Stormy left the small cottage. It had become her sanctuary since Stormy had brought her home.

  When Stormy left, Lindsey decided to water the flowers. The sun was shining and she needed to get outdoors. She couldn’t use her fear for the rest of her life. Eventually, she was going to have to really start living again.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Sherman sat on his nephew’s back deck and enjoyed the ice tea Stormy had made for him and his friends. It sure was great to have family—and the sort of friends who you’d die for were also family in his eyes.

  He looked over at Martin Whitman, who hadn’t visited in such a long while. He gave him a look that made Martin chuckle before Sherman even spoke.


  “It’s been too long, my friend,” Sherman grumbled. “I would think a retired man could get over a bit more.”

  Martin chuckled. “I could say the same,” Martin pointed out.

  “Well said,” Sherman admitted. “How is the clan over there in Montana?” he asked, not able to pull off his indignation for too long.

  “They couldn’t be better. I’ve still got my youngest to marry off, but with Joseph’s help, my three oldest are happy and giving me grandbabies. It took the brats long enough to do what they should have done without prodding, but I got my way,” Martin said with a smug smile.

  “Yeah, those kids even have the gall to say we’re meddling when they obviously are happier than they’ve ever been,” Joseph Anderson piped in, taking a long pull off his fragrant cigar.

  “Ungrateful, the lot of them,” Martin said.

  The men sat back for a minute as they relished in their indignation.

  “I think I’ll go ahead and make a trip that way this summer. I’ve been so worried about my lot here I haven’t gone far, but they’re slowly but surely growing up. I’m so glad those boys of yours have begun to see the light. It’s been a pleasure to keep up on their progress,” Sherman told him.

  “We’ll go together, my friend,” Joseph said. “My last few trips out there were just wonderful. I’ve even considered moving there. If my family weren’t so settled here in Seattle, I might just do that, but I couldn’t go even a week without seeing the grandkids. I’d miss them too much.”

  “Don’t think you’re going to leave the girls out of this male bonding trip. I’m joining you,” Evelyn said. “I want to see Bethel and the gang. We talk on the phone, but it’s not the same as visiting in person. I think my last visit out there was two years ago. My, how the time just keeps slipping away.”

  “It would do you some good to get away from these rowdy boys of yours. Of course, with Cooper settled down and married now, he’s a whole new man,” Sherman said with a smile. “Not that he’s given any thanks for my help.”