Submit (Surrender Series Book Two) Page 21

  Shane was both relieved and surprised to have come to an understanding, but now that he had Rafe on board, he had to convince Lia to let go of her anger. When he’d left her room, she’d been furious. A smile came to his face as he imagined all sorts of ways to put her in a better mood.

  Chapter Thirty

  Shane walked into the event center and was overwhelmed with pride. The stage was set and people buzzed about as they made last-minute preparations. This was the season finale of The Ultimate Fighter.

  It might have been a reality television show, but the kids who were in this competition had chosen to take the higher road in life — and he knew how hard that was.

  “Where’s your kid?”

  “He’ll be down shortly. I got him a room upstairs.”

  “That’s a change for him,” Rafe said with a smile.

  “Don’t be a smart ass, Rafe. You know what he’s gone through.”

  “I know. You’ve done a great job with him, and the other dozen kids you’ve helped.”

  “You’ve been right there with me helping these kids, too.”

  “I’m not the one who got involved with this. You are, and we both know why,” Rafe said as he patted Shane on the shoulder.

  “Let’s not talk about that. Today is a day of celebration. Seth gets to see where he’ll be in a few years.”

  “I still don’t get how his beating the crap out of somebody in a ring is any different than doing it on the street.”

  “I can’t believe you’re saying that, Rafe. You love to box.”

  “Yeah, boxing relieves stress for me, but these kids go beyond boxing.”

  “If my kids fight on the streets, they’re out of the competitions. No exceptions — you know that. Giving them this control changes everything about how they act in life. They get an outlet for the frustrations their circumstances threw at them.”

  “Hey, Shane. That room is out of this world!”

  “So you made it down here, Seth. Just in time to get to our seats.” Shane turned around and gave Seth a hug.

  “Rafe, I wasn’t expecting you here. It’s good to see you, man.” Seth gave Rafe a hug next.

  “It’s great to see you, too, kid. You’ve grown about a foot since the last time.”

  “It’s only been a couple of months,” Seth said with a smile as he shifted on his feet.

  “Well, you’re seventeen now — and I hear you graduated from high school with honors. What college are you attending in the fall?”

  “I just want to keep fighting and focus on that, but Shane won’t let me unless I enroll. I’m starting at Stanford in the fall thanks to Shane’s connections,” he said with a sigh. Though he was pretending to protest, Seth didn’t seem unhappy about attending such a prestigious school.

  “It looks like Shane has your best interests at heart. You’ll enjoy school there. I hear a lot of great-looking women attend.”

  “Nice! I can dig that! Hey, I can smell someone barbecuing and I’m so ready for a burger. Do you guys want anything?”

  “We’re good. Just meet us back down here when you’re done.”

  Seth took off and Shane and Rafe sat down.

  Shane reflected on when he’d first met Seth. He’d been at the beach swimming one day in San Diego. He’d left his shirt on his cooler and when he got back it was gone along with the cooler and everything in it. Since Shane had suffered through a difficult few years of his own, he knew it was most likely a street kid who often stole from tourists.

  Normally, Shane would have just let it go, but it was one of his favorite shirts, so he took a stroll down the beach and was amazed to see a scrawny kid wearing his clothing. The kid wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he’d stolen Shane’s things. To make the insult worse, the kid was sitting on Shane’s cooler drinking a bottle of Shane’s water.

  Shane approached the young man and calmly told him he wanted his shirt back. Seth had looked at Shane and denied knowing what he was talking about; the shirt was his. But then a policeman passing by asked whether there was a problem, and when Shane saw the panic in the kid’s eyes, he’d said no — everything was cool. Shane took Seth to dinner and didn’t let up on him until he learned the boy’s circumstances.

  It took a while, but Shane found out Seth was living with a group of homeless kids, all between ten and seventeen. Seth was only thirteen at the time, but his eyes showed the evidence of years of hard living.

  The group did what they had to in order to survive, including theft, prostitution, consuming and selling drugs — whatever it took. By the end of that dinner, which Seth practically inhaled, Shane earned enough trust that the kid agreed to meet him again.

  Shane gave him a few dollars, enough to tempt Seth to come back, but not enough that he could get into too much trouble. They started meeting for lunch in a nearby park each afternoon, and Shane learned more and more of his story — that’s when he’d decided to help his group.

  He’d gotten them involved at a gym his friend owned, set them up in a home where they could all stay together and helped them get back into school. Four of the kids left, too hardened to change, but six of the ten stayed, and out of those six, four were still there. One had graduated from high school last year and was in his first year of college. Seth had just graduated high school last month — a year early! — and the other two boys only had one year to go.

  Seth was the only one in the group who’d taken to fighting. It was a way for him to channel his rage — anger from his father’s abandoning him, his mother’s overdosing on drugs, and his losing everyone he’d ever loved in his life. He’d picked up on martial arts quickly, and within a couple years, he was becoming the guy to beat in the ring.

  Shane thought the kid had a real chance of making it in the UFC. The day Shane knew Seth was going to be OK was the day Seth broke down in Shane’s arms. It was the boy’s fifteenth birthday and Shane had surprised him with a cake.

  His heart had broken when he found out it was the first birthday cake Seth had ever had. And that night, when Shane gave him a brand new pair of Nike shoes, Seth had given Shane an appreciative hug, then sobbed in his arms.

  Shane couldn’t hold back a few of his own tears as this tough street kid allowed himself to show real emotion for the first time in years. Shane couldn’t save them all, but even one kid — just one — was gratifying.

  When Rafe had found out what Shane was doing, of course he had jumped in, donating funds, spending time at the gym, and letting the kids know that not everyone was against them. Rafe had been the one who saved Shane’s life when he’d run away at the tender age of fifteen.

  Shane would die for Rafe. But he didn’t want these kids to idolize him — he knew he was too far from perfect to deserve that. But idolize him they did. They’d given up, and the unaccustomed kindness he’d shown toward them earned their adulation.

  Seth returned to the two men well fed and with a smile of anticipation on his face. This is where he wanted to be someday — in that ring, fighting for the championship. There was a chance he just might make it.

  The stadium began filling up, and music pumped out from the speakers. Seth was practically jumping in his seat. When the first fighters were introduced, he jumped up shouting as he waited for one of his heroes to walk through the tunnel on the far side of the stadium, where they’d walk along a narrow path to the ring in the center of the theater. Cameras followed the fighters, so before they emerged from the tunnels, the crowd was fired up as they saw them on the big screens approaching the opening.

  “Did you see that?” Seth yelled as he turned around. The fighter had passed by and slapped his hand. Would the kid refuse to wash it over the next month? Shane wondered.

  “You want to know what’s even better?”

  “There’s nothing better than getting to high-five one of the fighters!”

  “How about getting to meet a couple of them?”

  Seth said nothing as he gazed wide-eyed at Shane, trying to deciph
er whether his mentor was telling him the truth. Trust still didn’t come easy for the young man.

  Shane pulled out the backstage passes and handed one to Seth, who looked at the card as if he were holding treasure. Tears filled Seth’s eyes as he looked at Shane, then Rafe. He turned around to choke down the sob threatening to bubble up, and he refused to turn back until he was under control.

  “I don’t even know what to say, Shane. Thank you seems so lame,” he said so quietly, Shane could barely hear him.

  “Thank you is always good enough when it’s meant,” Shane replied, speaking with difficulty over what felt like a golf-ball-sized lump in his throat.

  All conversation ceased as the fight began. Seth instead cheered so loudly that by the halfway point, he was losing his voice. By the end of the fight, he was down to only a whisper. And when Shane and Rafe took him backstage, the kid nearly passed out.

  The fighters were amazing with him, though, encouraging him to keep up the fighting so they could one day stand in the audience and cheer him on. Shane knew that this was one of those life-changing events that Seth would never forget.

  For that matter, it was pretty life-changing for Shane as well. As he and Rafe left the building, they were both silent as they thought about the way their lives had turned out. Rafe had grown up privileged, with a loving family, but he’d still gone through his periods of darkness.

  Shane was lucky to have risen above his grim circumstances. Now, he was in a place where he could help kids like Seth. The rest of the world had given up on these “throwaway” kids, making them want to give up on themselves, but when people like Shane stepped up, some of them could be saved.

  “Do you think you’ll be able to talk again, Seth?” Rafe asked as he ruffled his hair.

  “Who cares? This has been a dream come true,” he squeaked as they made their way from the coliseum.

  “I have no doubt you’ll be in that ring soon, kid. But, seriously, don’t ever think you have to keep fighting if you don’t want to. You may find that you love college even more than being in that ring,” Shane told him.

  “No way, Shane. I love you, man, but right now you’re just plain crazy. What could be better than stepping into that ring with thousands of people cheering your name?”

  “You know, being a great fighter is important, but being a great person is what makes the audience love you. As long as you stay true to yourself, you’ll always have fans. Someday, you’ll inspire some kid who needs a break.”

  “And I owe it all to you.”

  “Hey, none of that. Why don’t you enjoy some movies and room service before you fly home?”

  By the time Shane and Rafe made it back to their hotel, both of them were ready to part. Shane needed to hold Lia, assure himself that he really had the right to pull her into his arms — after making sure she didn’t bash him over the head.

  Rafe didn’t know what he wanted. OK, that wasn’t entirely true — he knew what he wanted — he just didn’t know how to go about getting it.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  What had happened in Vegas stayed with every one of them during the trip home. But their thoughts were not the sort to be shared. Even Lia kept quiet, for once uninterested in trying to antagonize either her brother or her lover.

  “What the heck happened with you and Shane? You haven’t looked at him once since we left the hotel.” Ari finally whispered when they were halfway home. Lia shook her head quellingly and looked away.

  When they landed, Ari learned that Rafe’s plans for now didn’t include her.

  “Ari, my father’s in town and I need to meet with him. Head back to your place. I’ll call you.” With that, Rafe led her to a waiting car, helped her inside, then shut the door.

  Before this moment, Ari had hoped to have some time all to herself; she wanted to be able to sort through her thoughts and feelings about Rafe. But his manner of dismissing her so coldly and easily tore at her. He could be so caring and intense one moment and then businesslike and unfeeling the next. Now was the time to decide on her next step.

  Three months had passed — her original agreement with Rafe was over, and she was living in limbo. She needed to lay it all out there, either offer up her heart or walk away and move forward with her life. But how to choose?

  Ari opened the door to a condo that felt like a tomb. The silence hung heavily over her, dead, oppressive, and the familiar rooms suddenly felt airless and stale. The solitude she’d so often welcomed had become a cruel isolation, suffocating her, making her eyes sting.

  Was Rafe an anchor or just a heavy weight upon her heart? Ari hoped for a chance to gauge her reaction when he next walked though her door. And so she waited. And waited.

  When the ornate clock struck ten, Ari shook off her cobwebs and went off to prepare for bed. Rafe wasn’t going to join her on their first night back.

  *****

  “How was your trip, Rafe? You’re not usually one to take a four-day weekend to play.”

  Rafe downed his double shot of scotch, then poured another.

  “It was a work trip, Dad. Shane and I are partners on a hotel and casino down there, and we were able to check in on the progress.”

  “If it had been a work trip, you wouldn’t have brought along the extra passengers,” Martin Palazzo said with a laugh as he sat down and waited for Rafe to join him.

  Rafe had never been able to lie to his dad. Maybe his old man could actually help him. Without giving himself time to change his mind, Rafe sat down and tried to open up.

  “I don’t know what to do, Father. I do care about Ari — I think you know that.” When his father remained silent, Rafe looked out the study window for a moment, and then continued. “There are things about me that you don’t know — things I’m ashamed to admit to you. But it’s how I’ve coped.”

  “I know more than you realize, son. What Sharron did to you was unconscionable — she took something away that isn’t easily regained. I have waited for you to talk to me — for you to realize you were on a self-destructive path that can only end in heartache. Has that day finally arrived?”

  “What do you know?” Rafe was aghast, horrified even to think about what his father might have discovered.

  “I won’t go into details here, but I know you’ve been less than honorable. I know that women are little more than candy for your arm, and a warm body for your bed. You weren’t raised that way, Rafe. A woman is never to be used — never to be treated with disrespect. It’s a privilege to earn their love and a responsibility to keep it.”

  “What if they don’t deserve it?” Rafe thundered, frustration making his words to his father unusually harsh.

  “No woman deserves to be treated as little more than your toy. If you feel she is nothing more than a cheap hooker, where is your self-respect in spending time with her at all? And if you know she’s better than that, where is your decency? You owe it to such a woman to walk away,” Martin scolded.

  Rafe knew his father was right, but to admit that would mean he’d have to let Ari go. He couldn’t do that — but he also couldn’t give her his heart. He no longer had a heart to give.

  “I’m good to my women, Father,” he contended.

  “You can put diamonds on their necks, but it’s little more than a leash when the gems aren’t given out of affection. You can tell yourself you treat them well, but do you really? I’ve watched you with Ari. Does she get your love — or does she simply get your body? How long do you think a woman like her will settle for less than she deserves? Even if she loves you, Rafe — and I think she does — she will eventually respect herself enough to walk away from you.”

  No!

  Rafe wasn’t ready for Ari to leave him — or for him to leave her. But there was really no way forward with her. A woman had held his sanity in her hand once; it wouldn’t happen to him twice.

  “I can’t tell you what to do, Rafe, but you came to me wanting advice. The only wisdom I can give you is to either give her you
r heart — or set her free.”

  Rafe slumped down in the chair, his father’s words echoing in his head. Set her free? No. She didn’t want to go. Ari had never had trouble telling him what was on her mind. Already, Rafe had bent his rules — made accommodations for her that he’d never made with any of his other mistresses.

  He was in the right to keep their relationship safe — free from burdens like love and affection. Yet if he truly felt that way, why did his heart feel so hollow? Why did he want to listen to his father and run to her, tell her he cared? Was he falling in love with the woman?

  If he was, it would only end tragically. She could never love him after the way he’d treated her. And if she did, she was a fool. This couldn’t end well for either of them.

  The thought tore through him. He needed just a bit more time — then he would listen to his dad. Then he would do what he should have done the moment he’d met her in his office all those months ago.

  Even then, he’d known she was all wrong for him. His emotions had clouded his normally cool head. He’d chased her, something he never did. He’d won — but at what cost? The price may have just been too high for both of them.

  “I just don’t know, Dad.”

  “Go somewhere and think. You are surrounded every day by people whose only desire is to please you. If you give yourself some time alone, you can sort all of this out. You can come to grips with yourself and what’s best for you — and for her. I think you’ll be surprised by the answers you’ll find.”

  Rafe rose and walked over to his dad, slinging his arm around his shoulders and giving him a warm hug.

  “Thank you, Father. I’m sorry I’ve shut you out. I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you. I think time alone is just what I need.”

  With that, Rafe left the room and called his pilot as he climbed in the car. Telling no one of his destination, he left the country. It was past time he figured out what he wanted.